Movie: The Last Boy Scout (1991)

Reason: Just one of those totally random ones because this movie happens to kick fuckkkkinggg ass!!!!!!!!

HB Analysis: The Last Boy Scout stars Bruce Willis and Damon Wayans. Willis plays Joe Hallenbeck- a lowlife private investigator who once saved the President’s life taking a shot in the line of duty as a Secret Service agent. Since, he used to work for Senator Calvin Baynard but caught him beating a chick the dirty Senator was cheating with. So he did the only cool thing he could and socked Baynard.  Long story short. Hallenbeck winds up a PI taking cases for Mike Matthews, who happens to be banging his wife Sarah (played by Chelsea Field).

Basically, Hallenbeck has a messed up life where anything that can go wrong usually does. Even his 13 year-old teenage daughter Darian (played by the now beautiful Danielle Harris who starred in Halloween IV and V) is against him because he wouldn’t allow her to go to a party. And it was “only the best partttty of the year” she says sarcastically to him while eventual partner Jimmy Dix (played by Wayans) observes at their house. It doesn’t help that the kid now believes in Satan Claus and got into trouble in class for a picture. Gotta love it. 

Dix is a former quarterback for the L.A. Stallions. Played extremely well by former In Living Colour star Wayans, he’s been kicked out of football for illegal gambling. He’s drawn in and eventually teams up with Hallenbeck because his former girlfriend played by then young knockout Halle Berry is murdered by hitmen because she knew too much and also was trying to blackmail Stallion owner Sheldon Marcone. Marcone was trying to payoff Senator Baynard to legalize professional sports gambling.

At the beginning of this action packed thriller, we see Stallion back Billy Cole resort to shooting opposing players just to score a touchdown because he wasn’t doing enough and had gotten threatened by the gamblers. Not surprisingly, he turns the gun on himself which was broadcasted well by veteran CBS commentator Verne Lundquist.

It only intensifies from there as the scene switches to a napping Hallenbeck who slept in his car just to be awakened by hooligans who even planted a ferret. He immediately pulls out his gun and they scramble away.

Oh. But it gets better as he then returns home early only to discover the toilet seat up and immediately concludes that his wife cheated on him. When he counts to three, she pleads and then Matthews comes out. That’s where a classic line comes out. In reference to his finger scale, he asks, “How was she?” Then shoots their wedding picture.

If that’s not enough, he still takes the case from the same screwball who slept with his wife. But poetic justice happens when he gets into his car and it blows up leading to his death. The “bad guys” thought it was Hallenbeck’s car and wired it.

We finally meet the real bad guy played by Taylor Negron as the cool but cocky Milo. I’d have to say he’s the coolest bad guy ever in a movie. There’s some great dialogue between him and Hallenbeck when they later kidnap him and bring him back to Marcone so they can frame him for the Senator’s murder. Hallenbeck loathes Baynard because of what happened previously.

Here’s some of that back and forth dialogue which is what makes this movie so much fun to watch:

Milo: Can we get a formal introduction?
Joe Hallenbeck: Who gives a fuck? You’re the bad guy, right?
Milo: I am the bad guy.
Joe Hallenbeck: And I’m supposed to be trembling with fear, something like that?
Milo: Something like that.
Joe Hallenbeck: Fine, I’ll start trembling in a minute.

Just your classic lines from a downright hilarious flick which I could probably watch over and over. It’s that good.

Willis’ comraderie with Wayans in The Last Boy Scout is awesome. They play so well off each other and trade great line after great line. Here’s one such sequence:

Jimmy Dix: It ain’t right.
Joe Hallenbeck: No, it ain’t right.
[sighs]
Joe Hallenbeck: This ain’t no game, flash. Real guns, real bullets. It’s dangerous.
Jimmy Dix: Danger’s my middle name.
Joe Hallenbeck: Mine’s Cornelius. You tell anybody, I’ll kill you.
Jimmy Dix: You ever watch “Soul Train”?
Joe Hallenbeck: Shut the fuck up.

One of my favorite parts has to be when Hallenbeck threatens Milo’s dopey assistant. He wants a cigarette and when he needs a light, the assistant pops him in the mouth and laughs. When Willis asks for another and a light, he says, “You touch me again and I’ll kill ya.”

So, of course, the idiot punches him again and goes:

“Boombagg babbbyyyy!  Hahahahahahahhaha. Oh Babbby! We got a two for two!!!!!”

Hallenbeck then puts his nose to his brain and he dies instantly freaking out another one of Milo’s dopes who reacts:

“He just put his god damnnn nose to his brain. He’s a fuckkiinn’ A killer!”

Let me see if I can find a clip off YouTube.

Here we go. A classic scene where he wakes up:

The Last Boy Scout: “I’m Awake“ 

The Last Boy Scout: “Introduction” this is kinda cheesy but still.

The Last Boy Scout: “Jimmy Dix meets Darian”

What else was great about this movie? Well, if you like awesome car chases, then watch because it’s fucking intense. The part where Wayans as Dix draws a picture and writes “Bom” and shows it to the bad guys and nearly gets shot is classic. Willis as Hallenbeck then replies:

“Bom means f you in Polish.” :lol: 

HB Rating:  On IMDB, the average user rating was 6.6 out of 10.0. I’ll give it a 7.0 for creativity and just total awesoommmeness.

If you haven’t caught it, it’s one of Willis’ best action movies. And Wayans is great in it. If you like Die Hard, then you’ll love The Last Boy Scout.